You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
