It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
