Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
