This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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