did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You can't special order awesome
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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