im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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