The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
