yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
