she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
