ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
