Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Congratulations! We have a period
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
