After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
