oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize