this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
