we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
