this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
