Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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