just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize