Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
