were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
