What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize