is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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