I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Randomize
