She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
