I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
