the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
