Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
