You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
