halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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