Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
