Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
