he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
