is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
