Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
