I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
