I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
