he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
