Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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