I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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