What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
