they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You smell like stripper and shame
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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