did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
