I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
