i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
