plz talk dirty to me
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
