We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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