My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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