Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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