Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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