Me too!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
