I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
