Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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