I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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