i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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