Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize