i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
