You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
