she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
