What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
