belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
