i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
