Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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