Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
