does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
