and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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