Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
