I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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