I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
