That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
