you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
