should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
