Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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