i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So vagazzling was a success
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