Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
