And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
